Welfs

So after much deliberation and many sleepless nights, I finally figured out why most of my relationships do not work. I'm simply looking for the wrong type of girl. I need a welfare chick if I'm gonna be truly happy. Here's why:

1) They are always very loving and protective of "their man". If you try to get near a welfare chick's boyfriend, you're just asking for a shit storm. If there is one thing they take pride in, and there probably only is one, it is their man. I gotta say that display of love would be a great feeling to wake up to. I can just picture coming home from (I was gonna say work, but I will have to stop working if I want to make this happen) buying lottery tickets and telling my Welf Girl that my ex girlfriend was there talking to me, and then boom she goes and tries to shank the bitch for stepping in her territory. What an exciting life!

2) Livin' on the dole. Let's face it. I enjoy sleeping, and with both of us living off the government I can sleep in all the time.

3) I assume they are appreciative of finer things. If you give a chick who grew up with money a nice necklace or bracelet, it's not really a big deal, but if you give a chick who lived off Mr. Noodles the same thing...it's going to be a happy ending for you, if you catch my drift.

4) From what I can tell, welf chicks are always boning. Once again the not having a job thing probably plays a big factor in this, but based on the number of kids they have popping around they are always having sex...condomless sex. Really, who doesn't want that?

5) And since they have kids who they don't really care about, you have someone to take all your frustrations and failures out on. I'm not talking about just physical abuse, but you can tear into these kids mentally as well, and if they try to fight back their Mom will beat their ass. Why? Cause you don't mess with a Welf chick's man, that's why!

So that's my little spiel on the benefits of dating a chick who requires Government Assistance. Lock down the jewellery box Mom, cause I'm finding one and bringing her home!